Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to escape."
James Joyce

I ran across this quote the other day and I find it very applicable to my own life history. This past year has been one of my toughest, yet most rewarding. I have gone through tremendous personal growth, but old habits die hard. I keep finding myself doing the same thing over and over and over again. Jed and I were talking about this yesterday and he said, "Live and learn." I replied, "No, I think I just live."

I have this weird dichotomous personality. Generally, I am very structured, organized and controlled...except when it comes to my emotions. I tend to be an open book when really I should just shut my mouth. Sometimes I wish I could be the really mysterious girl...the one who always makes you wonder what she's thinking. But no, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I guess this is a good quality most of the time. However, it does end up making me vulnerable and exposed, which inevitably leads to me getting hurt. Perhaps going through that process over and over and over again is how one lives AND learns.

"I must learn to love the fool in me-the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for my fool."
Theodore I. Rubin

On to the highlights of 2007!

January: I made an impromptu trip to Seattle to visit Derek!

I think Derek belongs on a J.Crew catalogue


February: Pittsburgh (or as I like to call it, the P-burgh; Amy calls it the Pitts) to see Amy!
This is the best picture I have because we spent a lot of time waiting for her pipes to unfreeze. We passed the time by watching Intervention (and crying), eating a lot of ice cream and drinking in bed. Other than that, I was in the back seat of her car playing air drums to Yr Mangled Heart on repeat. Good times!


I don't have any pictures for March...I don't remember why. But I did go to Orlando for a work conference.

April: Aimee and Braden come to visit!



Also in April: Paige, my mom and I joined Juan Diego at Displace Me in Denver. Read more about Displace Me and Invisible Children.


Our house for the night


May: Phoenix for Sarah's birthday (which is actually June 1)! Amy even left the Pitts to help us celebrate. True story...so what?



Amy's throwing one back. But don't judge her, she's on vacation!


June: Off to Texas to stay with my nephews Macklin and Braden for a week!
My sisters Paige and Aimee with me. I like to call them twins even though they're 11 years apart.

Braden

Macklin

I took a little road trip and drove to Austin for a visit with Ryan and Scott.



July: Happy Birthday to me! Amy came to visit the S.L.C. Unfortunately I don't have too many pictures because my camera got run over on the Alpine Slide. So sad!
Birthday fun started at Juniors with Monty, Scott and Amy

I took Amy up to Snowbird and she loved it!




August: Teagan's 3rd Birthday
My nephew Teagan

Me and Scarlett, my niece


September: Phoenix again for another work-vacation


October: New York to see Jed and Chris


My mom loved the tranny at Lipps!


Also in October: Aimee, Braden and Macklin visit SLC...and so do Jed and Chris!
Macklin

Braden, Aimee and Mack

I'll give you one billion dollars...

A small datenight reunion: Scott, Monty, Aimee, me, Allen, Jed


November: I was sick with bronchitis for most of November so the only fun thing I did was go to Scott's 24th birthday party.
Scottie!

Mel and me

December Wrap Up

Wow. I guess I got a little nostalgic last night listening to Dave Matthews. That was a weird post. You know, I actually kind of OD'd on Dave Matthews a few years back and I haven't been able to listen to him for awhile. Now I know why...he makes me write crazy things. Just kidding. Kind of. I wrote a few crazy e-mails last night too. Sometimes I think I should not be allowed to have a computer. But what do you do? What's done is done and all that cliche bullshit. Also, Sarah and Derek left Salt Lake recently and I'm really sad about that. I miss Jed terribly lately. Amy and I haven't been having enough phone calls that last for hours on end. Why do all of my friends live so gd far away??

Well, it truly has been a long December. It's been full of highs and lows and lots of snow. I don't have too many cool pictures from the beginning of December. But I did go to Phoenix for a week in mid-December for a work-vacation. Actually, I really went for work. But since Sarah lives there we turned it into a vacation.



The hottest bartender ever: Justin. I love him, but he only has eyes for Sarah.


I just paid $11 for this beer because it was from the hot bartender and he was honest.


My employer made me wear this hat at our Western themed holiday party. Lame. I was not amused, but at least I got to wear jeans and drink a margarita.


I had book club the day I returned from Phoenix. It was a small crowd, but we always know how to par-tay!




Derek came into town and we went to Pouya's bad ass birthday party and danced the night away.



One snowy night Derek and I wrote some bad poetry and then decided to burn it in my backyard.





It's been really, really cold here lately and my house is covered with icicles. It was hard for me to get a good picture since it was the middle of the night, but I like the red house in the background. You can also see the back of Everett's old apartment building. He was so not cool. Right before I took this picture I saw what I thought to be a cat running around the backyard. But no, it was a freaking huge raccoon! It was gross looking, but I couldn't get a good picture of him so you'll just have to trust me.


On December 19, I lost a good friend: David D'Antuono. He was one of the most generous people I have ever met. I first met him through work, but he quickly became a friend. David was a leukemia survivor and the General Manager of ABC 4 here in Salt Lake. Know I will always remember you David!

One drink to remember, then another to forget

Do you know this Dave Matthews song? It's called Grace Is Gone and I was introduced to this song by a Mr. Todd Stull in Chicago circa 2002. Neon shines through smokey eyes tonight. Fuckin' neon. T-O-DD...that's a double D! That was so long ago, yet I still think about that January night 2003. I AM NOT ALONE! Talk about the weather. So much to say! Little Bay-bee! Remember when we got drunk before big SGA nights? Then we stole all the good beer. Todd, life is short but sweet for certain. Things we cannot change...I came to you at last. Into your heart I'll beat again. I promise you I will learn from mistakes...

You know who really saved me? (Besides Todd)

Amy!
You say my hell is a closet and I'm stuck inside....


Sarah!
When you try your best, but you don't succeed; when you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?


Jeddy and Allen! When you lose something you cannot replace...


Derek! Lights will guide you home...and I will try to fix you.